This is probably not the sort of response a frightened little kid should get from his parents. But really, it’s mostly his fault. Couldn’t he have led up to it a bit? You don’t just jump right out and say “Hey, my butthole feels great when I poke at it! What’s for dinner?” That sort of thing is just begging to send your parents into shock.

Subtlety.

Bonus panel idea:

This is all that Bible’s fault!