Spanky is a gerbil. He likes his cake. He likes chew sticks. He likes to go to the bathroom in his ball. He likes to chew on newspaper but he can't because I won't let him because if he does chew on newspaper, he will get sick because certain kinds of ink in the newspaper can be toxic.
One day, Spanky went for a walk in the woods. Wait, not the woods, the park. No, the … ah, who cares. Anyway, he went for a walk.
While he was walking he fell into a hole.
He jumped out of the hole
and fell back in.
Then he jumped out again
and fell back in again.
Then he jumped out and decided he wanted to go back into the hole.
He traveled through the hole until he popped out into outer space. He didn’t like outer space because he had difficulty breathing.
So he went back into the hole.
After a little while, Spanky came back out another hole. He ended up in a forest.
He liked the forest so he hopped out and ran around until he fell asleep. While he slept he had a dream. He dreamed that he was eating sunflower seeds in a submarine named Zorbob. Then robots came out and made him dance. After that, he woke up. When Spanky was awake he noticed that he was not in the forest, but in a cave instead.
This was very interesting to Spanky. “How did I get here?” Spanky pondered thoughtfully. Then, a big bear leaped out at Spanky from behind a rock and made threatening, gurgly noises towards Spanky, but Spanky was not frightened.
Spanky leaped into the air and bit the bear so hard on the nose that the bear ran away.
Spanky ran outside of the cave to see where he was at. When Spanky looked outside, Spanky saw lots and lots of trees.
This meant that Spanky was still in the forest after all. This made Spanky stamp his feet with glee. “YAAAAAA-HOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Spanky in triumph. Wait a minute, Spanky is a gerbil, so Spanky can’t speak. Giving human characteristics to an animal is called personification, I think.
But since I’m not sure, it doesn’t really make any difference. Besides, this is a fictional story anyway. Heck, for all I know Spanky could be a girl. I forgot to ask the pet shop owner if Spanky was a male or female and I really don’t want to look down there. Oh well, back to the story.
Spanky ran into the forest and leaped into the trees.
Spanky couldn’t do this in real life, but like I said before, this is a fictional story. Anyway, Spanky leaped into the trees and perched on a branch just right for Spanky.
Spanky nibbled on the branch a little while. After Spanky got tired of that, Spanky leaped to the ground and ran around in circles. Then Spanky darted off toward the cave. Spanky reached the cave and noticed a crevice in the wall that Spanky didn’t notice before. Spanky leaped ferociously into the crevice.
It was dark and damp and smelled like Old Spice. Then Spanky noticed a light up ahead. Spanky leaped ferociously out into the open.
Spanky looked around the room and saw a candle in the middle of the room on the floor. Spanky was inspecting the candle when all of a sudden an old man popped his head around the corner and smiled. “Hello, my little friend,” the old man whispered gleefully.
Spanky, in a frenzy of claws and teeth, leaped onto the old man’s face and fought with all his might.
The old geezer screamed wildly as Spanky ripped him to shreds. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Then Spanky stopped the ferocious onslaught with a puzzled look on his face. “I’m sorry, I thought you were somebody else.”
Spanky left the room out a hidden exit. How did Spanky know where the exit was? I don’t know, but he did. Spanky ran around and got tired so he took a nap. While he was asleep he had a dream. He dreamed the he was a Bohemian Rat Chicken and ran around eating innocent people.
Spanky didn’t like this dream so he woke up. When he woke up he went berserk because it was cool. He ran back and found that old geezer again and attacked him. He ripped him to shreds again.
Then Spanky said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were somebody else again.” Spanky was hungry so he decided to go get something to eat. He ran all the way to Chucky Cheese’s and boy were his arms tired!
When he got there he went and sat down. This big fat rat came over and said, “hello there little rodent.” Spanky took one look at the stupid rat and leaped on him. In a frenzy of teeth and fur, Spanky ripped the rat to shreds. Then Spanky left Chucky Cheese’s but before he did he changed the name to Spanky Cheese’s.
Then he thought the entire place was stupid so he blew it up.
After that, Spanky went to the zoo. This was the funnest place he’d ever been, thought Spanky. He leapt from cage to cage, confusing the whole zoo.
And that was that.
